


halo

by kinpika



Series: merde, je t’aime tant [6]
Category: My Candy Love
Genre: Based somewhere in MCLUL, Castiel seeing her for the first time after four years, F/M, Where they had broken up, a request from tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 00:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14904845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinpika/pseuds/kinpika
Summary: For the longest time, he’d blamed her. For pushing him. For encouraging him.For wanting to experience life herself.





	halo

If he was being honest, there really wasn’t a thought spared for her on that particular day. Castiel’s first day of tour back in his hometown, and she was way down the line as far as concerns went. And that sounds cruel, when he thinks about it, but he didn’t mean it that way. The day was busy, and the less he thought of her over the years, the better, anyway.

It might not have even been her. Just someone vaguely shaped like _her_ , who happened to be sitting out the front of the cafe they used to go to all the time. Longer hair, brighter eyes. Castiel could list off the different skirts and dresses and jackets on his hands, not real signs of recognition, but he was fairly sure he knew what the back of her head looked like.

He’d only spent a good couple of years staring at the back of it, until the day that it disappeared from his line of sight for the last time.

But that was years ago. Sure, they could call it a mutual split, decided one night after a dinner with friends, where the silence hung too long and it was three hours until he had to leave. Castiel wouldn’t call it that, though. He got on that bus at five in the morning, guitar case in one hand, bag slung over his shoulder, and had to force himself not to turn back. She was the one who encouraged him to do it, anyway. 

Castiel had to wonder if she listened to any of his songs, and knew they were about her. For the longest time, he’d blamed her. For pushing him. For encouraging him. For wanting to experience life herself. Put all those emotions into songs that people sang back. Crowds, that didn’t understand, that didn’t _get,_ that one girl (one _woman_ ) still held so much sway over him, and she probably didn’t even think of him anymore.

 _No, it wasn’t her_. Firmly tells himself, as he’s going through the setlist. _Definitely not_. Another thought, in between tuning his guitar. _No way, it can’t be_. 

Why was it her?

The softest song, the hitches in his voice, the way he crones… it’s for the crowd. It always is. They love it, he knows, as they scream and yell and shout the words along, filling the gaps he pauses at. It’s the kind of reaction that rookies can only dream of. That once upon a time, only he dreamt of.

His pause was just that second too long, but the crowd carried the words, not noticing that the lyrics don’t exist for him anymore. That the world had fallen silent. Castiel thinks people are lying when they say they can spot a face out of a crowd. But there she stands. He could never recall particular details, like the colour of her nails the morning he left, or how she wore her hair on their anniversary, but Castiel remembered a blue dress, a promise to never leave, and the one love song he swore to take to his grave.


End file.
